“When you feel like breaking down or crashing in,
Who do you turn to, to forgive your sin?
When you cried your lonely tears,
Who will be there to fight your fears?
And when it feels like no one would understand,
Who was there to hold your hand?”
— Ann T. Tram
No doubt! parents are the actual shed of the tree of pure affection. Amongst were all around dazzling heat of selfishness being spread in every genre of environment.
Everyone left your hand in the crowd of this selfish world. There is only hope for our loving parents. They never lose your hand anywhere even though they scold you. sounds Strange! But true they also beat you too for your wellbeing.
I recall those days "Their that act of fun with us even though passing across vulnerable circumstances.
But they couldn’t expose their hidden pain before us, for that concern might be we gonna hurt or become panic in vain as well.
Their that style of holding our delicate finger with their confident & caring hands.
And take us for an ever-memorable walk into the park or in the market.
How we follow them every step & their that sweet smile by looking us.
It's quite a sort of wholesome feeling which is enough to warm up anyone’s heart.
How ironic moment that we are demanding something which our parents incompetent to replenish that.
Over that how sweet & innocent that style of our mother to convince us to resolve our stubborness while looking loving father’s upset face.
That would be the perfect compilation of parenting & also its the only reason we could proclaim that “The heart of our parent is the premise of emotions”
Yeah, I’m talking about those parents who corroborated us ever lastly in our harshest to the delicate situation as well.
There is no job as important, rewarding, or life-changing as that of parenthood.
What an awesome joy and responsibility it is to hold a new life in your arms.
O’ my elegant mother, my wholesome father! How you handle this responsibility will not only affect your life but also a future that you will never see.
This job comes with no guarantees. That perfect bundle of joy comes with a will of its own and will make choices in the process of growing up that you will not be able to control. Some of these choices will give you great joy, some will wound you deeply. It is part of the part and parcel of the privilege of parenting.
Why discuss the heart of our parents?
The reason is quite a crystal clear and profound too.
In your heart is the root of your parenting tree. That root will produce fruit after its kind. If you make sure your root is healthy, you set the stage for healthy, delicious fruit to be borne in your children. A healthy root provides for a reserve against the drought and storms that life will throw at your family tree.
The heart of your parenting drives and colours everything you do for and to your children. Even implementing something like a chore system. If the motivation, the heart behind the chore system is unhealthy, it will never bring forth good fruit. You can run all the checklists, do everything by the book and get completely different results from someone who outwardly appears to be doing the same thing.
So, how do we prepare our hearts to be effective, loving parents that see good fruit in our children? The first key is to truly understand what parenting is and is not. Our society today offers poor images of successful parents. This leads to frustration and anger because many times our expectations do not match reality. You must understand this truth.
“Parents are the roots of the tree of life”
“Nobody on earth can ever love you more than your parents”
Parenting is at its core a life of unselfish service to those who are often incapable of understanding or appreciating your efforts.
My Parents had the privilege of having five children. We are all individuals, very different from one another. My grandmother often told about my father, “He didn’t realize how selfish was he until he hadn’t children.” Like all parents, he fails many times in his parenting. Almost always when he does he lost track of this truth. Instead of endeavouring through various circumstances, he kept moving in the quest for new pavements. Let’s drive this world as an example of my personal life.
Similarly, recently I got married and now my wife is pregnant it's been 4 and half month since her by bore my embryo. I gonna believe it or not but now it’s my turn to have a chip on my shoulder as well.
I asking my father (most of the time unconsciously) to come through me and meet my needs. I know now it’s my turn to get the skeleton out from my cupboard.
Although my parent (especially my father) replenish all my needs & deeds there is an inner call of parenthood inside often jostling mine inner conscience precisely.
I am an eagle scout and my dad’s side of the family has been involved in scouting back to my grandfather who was a scoutmaster. I gonna thrilled that further in future if my son or daughter will take me to scout and shared my love of the outdoors. Without a whole lot of encouragement on my part, it will quickly become a life scout, also one run away from achieving his eagle rank. If somehow he or she stopped making progress.
Moreover, whenever I shall try to help as well as push him or her, or encourage him to finish, I shall meet excuses, resentment, and a felt distancing in our relationship. This would be very painful for me. I am hoping it would continue to accomplish its goal. What would be going on?
The truth is many things were going on. The most important in terms of my role as my son’s or daughter’s father will be, why I want so much for him to reach this goal? Was it truly his goal or would I subconsciously, asking him or her to come through for me? Will it make me proud to see him succeed? You bet! Will it make me feel good? You bet! Was I manipulating him so I would look good? I have to say yes.
How do I know? I could tell by the fruit I got as I’m virtually parenting my siblings after the passage of my mother now I’m stand withing, my father, to support me. Play my role as a parent as well.
I know it’s very hard to become or play a parenting part. It was the mother’s potential that how she dealing with all the hardship like managing the deeds & misdeeds with the variation of mindsets. Now I conclude it’s only the heart of our parents who understand better their offsprings.
They kept in top priority whatever the desires as well as the demands of their children. It doesn’t matter how & what sort of value it would be to them. They just pondering nothing but looking how much the thing is valuable for their children.
Yeah! That’s true they ready to sacrifice their precious dreams to fulfil ours.
As an elder brother, I still not recognised as a legal parent for my siblings because this miraculous job only suited to the original parents.
I miss you my loving Mumma!! I know you were the only prototype of motherhood for your family. Now you are not amongst us I often feel your absence. It’s my mother’s potential that how she accurately manage the family. I know within few months I will also arrive in the cadre of parenting but for my blood child.
That’s a bitter truth the real pain of children only understood by our parents.
A mother who kept us for a long period of 9 months along with intolerable pain also undergoes extreme pain when she gave us birth. Always ignore or forgive our every sort of misbehaving & misdeeds as well. Convey nothing but selfless love warmly.
Whenever we fall ill or sick even we raise any demand to purchase something, so it’s only our father’s potential to deal with.
Whatever he would do but he gonna present for us to replenish our every demand.
Stubbornly we demand something almost impossible but it’s our father who comes forward to fulfil that.
Eventually, I could say it’s our parent’s heart & their efficacy to deal with their child’s every sort of mess they created in their regular life.
Hierarchical demerits ruin roots of parenting:
One of the biggest traps our parents fall into is parenting so that we look good. This is parenting that is selfish at the root and will yield the fruits of selfishness in our children. When I shall move into my child’s life truly out of a heart of unselfish desire to help them, it will not produce the undertow of resentment and resistance that I was meeting. When you manipulate others into doing what you want, even if it benefits them initially, you will reap a harvest of resentment and rebellion. No one likes to be manipulated. I had to repent, share my father’s insight like a son and then give help as my son asked for it. Was this hard for me? Yes. But it was what my son needed at this time in his life. What he needed most from me was my confidence in his abilities.
According to my father, another trap is to parent motivated by a desire for our children’s approval. This is also at the core selfish. Will you say regularly, “my child will be so ungrateful”? Or “I can never be a please buddy”. These are warning signs indicating that you are asking your child to come through for you. Instead of giving them what they need from you, you are giving them whatever they want so you can receive their affirmation. This can be devastating in its results. A child needs the security of parents that provide consistent values that are reflected inappropriate boundaries for the child. Without these boundaries and lives that model these values, children never learn self-control and are truly lost in a sea of confusion and are left to the tragedy of their selfishness. This is the most destructive type of parenting. Both the parents and children are robbed.
Healthy parenting has these characteristics:
- It is unselfish & disciplined.
- It is based on meeting the child’s true needs, forbidden unwanted desires.
- It is for a tune-up with the unique qualities of offspring.
- It gives without expectation of return.
- Always keep the child under the psychology that they are always being noticed by their parents. That If they perform anything immoral then it would be punishable.
That sounds like a tall order!
It is expected that you will make some mistakes,
However, if you choose to be motivated from a giving serving heart, your errors in execution will be easily forgiven. Children are very forgiving when they feel your love rather than your manipulation. Being this kind of parent will necessitate you to draw on resources greater than you possess but is worth it!
Conclusive speech:
“The heart of our parent as big as the universe”
Parents heart are bigger but not all parents foster their children properly. The directories of parents are outpaced with the innumerous parents worldwide. Those who are doing hard work the whole day then they could fill the bellies of their loving children.
Now, this is the utmost time of covid-19 when no one allows to work openly, the lockdown imposed several countries.
But somehow they earn something and win bread for their families.
Help needies & support needy parents & their families to survive.
let me tell you one of my, the founder of a company my father & mother who has numerous academic credentials in form his services of selfless love. His greatest asset, however, is his experience raising 5 children of their own!
They know first hand, both the frustrations and the joys of parenting. It was their love for families that motivated the creation of that company or we say a family.
Therefore, conclusively I’d say it’s our only parents who fight with the coronavirus pandemic to run their families to survive.
Lakhs of cases of those parents who died anonymously by this dreadful pandemic disease covid-19.
But this is the sacrifice & the courageous heart of our loving parents they regularly go for their duties to earn & feed their children as well.
All above-discussed terms & aspects are written, researched under the presence of regular parents of normal families.
Author
Sayed sumair
A professional tutor
